Games People Play

Intimacy is the only completely satisfying answer to stimulus-hunger, recognition-hunger, and structure-hunger. 


The solitary individual can structure time in two ways: activity and fantasy. 


In a social aggregation you can structure time by: 

  1. Rituals
  2. Pastimes
  3. Games
  4. Intimacy
  5. Activity


Fascinating:

Greeting rituals are based on intuitive computations by both parties. 

Example: At this stage of their acquaintance they figure they owe each other exactly one stroke at each meeting (Hi-Hi), and not oftener than once a day. 

If they see each other again within the next half hour, they will only nod. 

If Mr. D sees Mr. C after a month’s vacation, they owe each other about thirty strokes.

These can be compressed into a few transactions, if they are emphatic enough. 

Ex. “Haven’t seen you around lately... “Say, that’s interesting, how was it?... Did your family go along?”


Interestingly: if Mr. E asks “how are you” in a usual two stroke ritual, Mr. F will think “what’s come over him all of a sudden? Is he selling insurance?” “All he owes me is one stroke, why is he giving me five?”

Same if Mr. G says “Hi” and Mr. H passes on without replying. Only this is underbalanced. 


Pastimes:

Typically played at parties or social gatherings. Or in waiting periods before a meeting begins. 

“General Motors” (comparing cars)

“Who Won” (sports)

“How To” (go about doing something)

“How Much” (does it cost)

“Ever Been” (to some nostalgic place)

“Do You Know” (so-and-so)

“What Became” (of good old Joe)


Moves

The moves of a game correspond roughly to the strokes in a ritual. As in any game, players become more adept with practice. Wasteful moves are eliminated.

“Beautiful friendships” are often based on the fact that players complement each other with great economy and satisfaction, so that there is maximum yield with minimum effort when they play together. 


Games are necessary and desirable for intimacy in daily social life. 

The essential feature of a game is its culmination, or payoff. 


The two favorite games played by drinking people are:

“Martini” (how many drinks and how they were mixed)

“Morning After” (Let me tell you about my hangover)


“Why Don’t You-Yes But”

See if you can present a solution I can’t find fault with. 

The players gets reassured that all possible solutions are inviable.