Keith Ferrazzi: Never Eat Alone

 

  • The secret to living is giving. Untallied generosity rules the day for the long term, don't keep score when adding value/buying lunch. 
  • "No one becomes an astronaut by accident" ~set clear goals that pave the way for strategy (p. 24) "A goal is a dream with a deadline"


Goal setting-three steps

Step 1: 

Find your passion. What do you love? What are you truly good at? What do you want to accomplish in life? Choose the sweet spot where passion and ability come together. Look inside to find your passion, an internal review should be free of doubts, fears, or expectations of what you "should" be doing. Set aside the obstacles on time and money. 

Create a list of dreams, then a list of things that bring you joy and pleasure and connect the two. Clues for your passion can be found in achievements, hobbies, magazines, movies, or books. 

Next, look outside. Ask your inner circle, the people who know you best, what your greatest strengths and weaknesses are. 

"Human ambitions are like Japanese carp; they grow proportional to the size of their environment. Our achievements grow according  to the size of our dreams  and to the degree to which we are in touch with our mission." 


Step two: Put goals to paper

Prepare a Relationship Action Plan: (three parts) develop goals that help you fulfill the mission, connect goals to people/places/things that will help you get there, then determine the best way to reach out to people who can help you accomplish your goals (medium to connect, find a way to lead with generosity). 

In the first part list what you would like to accomplish three years from today. Then work backward in one-year increments and then in three-month increments to develop mid-term goals. 

Remember, your goals must be specific, concrete and detailed. Know the steps going up to achieving it and the date it will be accomplished. Goals must be believable. Yet, they must be challenging and demanding. 

Take ACTION! Start reaching out :)


Step three: Create a personal Board of Advisers

Could be family members, friends, or mentors. They will keep you accountable and offer advice. 


  • Network with mentors, advisors, and contacts long before you need anything at all (helps with the generosity side). You can only gain trust incrementally over time, if you start when you need something, they won't trust you yet and won't be willing to administer their assistance. Law of probability- the more people you know = more opportunities. Investigate your contact's contacts. It's easier to reach out to people that are tangentially part of your network than those who are complete strangers. 
  • Boldness has genius, power and magic to it. 
  • "It's between choosing risk and striving for greatness, or risking nothing and being certain of mediocrity. 

Networking tips:

  1. Add value before requesting a meeting. Respect their time and prove yourself. 
  2. Don't rely on gossip for conversation. 
  3. Don't come to the party empty-handed. Be armed with content, links, empathy, and your knowledge to help others. 
  4. Don't treat those under you poorly. In business, the food chain is transient. You never know who will rise to the top. 
  5. Be transparent. Be open with your intentions and information. Earn trust. 
  6. Don't be too efficient. Don't send out a chain email, or a copy-paste template. Be genuine. 


Preparation is the key to genius. Prepare for the people you plan to meet, be ready to add value. Step into the conversation in their head. 


When calling:

  1. Convey credibility by mentioning a familiar person or institution
  2. State your value proposition
  3. Impart urgency and convenience by being prepared to do whatever it takes to meet the other person on his or her own terms. 
  4. Be prepared to offer a compromise that secured a definite follow-up at minimum. 


  • Always respect the gatekeepers power. Make the feel respected and treat them with dignity or you will never have access to their superior. 
  • Follow-up = major key


Follow up musts:

  • always express gratitude
  • Be sure to include an item of interest or joke from your meeting
  • Reaffirm whatever commitments you both made
  • Be brief and to the point
  • Always address the thank-you note to the person by name
  • After emailing, send requests to connect through social media
  • Send asap after your meeting
  • Be sure to let the friend that referred you to the new acquaintance in in how the conversation went. They will be happy to hear. 


For every event you attend:

  • Help out the organizer, or be the organizer if possible. This makes you an insider. Reach out to the coordinator months ahead with something like "I'm really looking forward to the conference you're putting together. I'm interested in helping make this year the best year ever, and I'm willing to devote a chunk of my resources--be it time, creativity, or connections--to make this year's event a smash hit. How can I help?" 
  • Try to be a speaker. To prepare, use Toastmasters International. Speeches can be profitable and can expose you to a large number if conference goers. As a speaker at a conference, you have a special status, making meeting people easier. 
  • Ask an insightful question pertaining to your industry when another speaker is up. Be sure to introduce yourself. 


The cornerstone of your network should be a super connector, someone many people know. Super-connectors gravitate to eight main professions: Restauranteurs, Headhunters (recruiters/job placement counselors), lobbyists, and Authors/bloggers/gurus. 


If all else fails: say "you're wonderful. Tell me more"


Deep emotional bonds are engendered when you help someone through a health issue, positively impact someones personal wealth, or take a sincere interest in their children. By asserting a sincere interest in these things, you help someone fulfill the needs they need most met, and you allow them to move up the pyramid of needs to tackle some of their higher desires. 


Provide value in knowledge, summarize a book that hold a potential solution, organize an event calendar, etc. 


Maintain your existing network through pinging. You have to feed the fire of your network or it will die. To create a real relationship the person will have to hear your name in at least three modes of communication (email/face-to-face/phone call). Then, you have to reach out at least once a month to cultivate that relationship. To transform this contact into a friend, you have to have a minimum of two meetings face-to-face outside the office. A secondary relationship (more of an acquaintance) requires two or three pings a year. Social media pings are helpful (comments, likes, retweets) but can't replace the face-to-face interactions. Make a special point of reaching out to people on their birthday or anniversary. 


When posting to social media: Ask "What's got your attention?" what's making you post? How does it add value?